It hasn't been a good time for me lately. To tell the truth, it has been a sucky year so far. I've been having problems in all areas of my life that I almost didn't know which I should start rectifying first. But that's life right? Everyone has problems. Yeah sure.
If there was one thing that I taught real well in my upbringing, it's that your problems are your own. Deal with it. So deeply this lesson was embedded in me that I suspect it took form of its own. I have no problems identifying others who needs help even though they never asked for it in the first place. I'd subtlely point out that I could help if they'd wanted it. However, when the same is directed at me, I go...stoic...a friend once described this behaviour mode of mine. As a result, I become a calculating problem fixing machine whenever left to my own devices. In company, I'm that guy they know, albeit my so-called broody self.
The immediate future holds uncertainties for me. My present are on the streets. If my friends only knew what that meant! LOL. But I refuse pity. Contrary to what I may have said about myself, I am not above asking for help. These help comes from only those I trust deeply, whose connotations and character are beyond contestation in my book.
Recently, amidst my inner wallowing, I stumbled upon a shocking find on one of my oldest friend. No one within locus of my brotherhood knew, yet I came upon it via a third party. Of all the dumbest thing he could've done...I spoke to him last night and he was remorseful. The strain in his voice caught him offguard at my knowledge of the incident, to which I told him, in this matter, things have an uncanny way of dropping into place for me. With 2 numbers already punished, he should've known better.
In regards to the above matter, it disturbed me into sleepless rendezvous, trying to figure how to fix it. And now that I've spoken to him, my focus shifts to the uncertain future. Told my mom to sell the residence and it'll probably go through in a few months or so. While living arrangements had been sorted for the family, I reclused deciding where my place should be. Frankly, it's not exciting. And I have a sweet revenge on a person that I've been thinking about alot lately. Hey you...I will fulfill.
If there was one thing that I taught real well in my upbringing, it's that your problems are your own. Deal with it. So deeply this lesson was embedded in me that I suspect it took form of its own. I have no problems identifying others who needs help even though they never asked for it in the first place. I'd subtlely point out that I could help if they'd wanted it. However, when the same is directed at me, I go...stoic...a friend once described this behaviour mode of mine. As a result, I become a calculating problem fixing machine whenever left to my own devices. In company, I'm that guy they know, albeit my so-called broody self.
The immediate future holds uncertainties for me. My present are on the streets. If my friends only knew what that meant! LOL. But I refuse pity. Contrary to what I may have said about myself, I am not above asking for help. These help comes from only those I trust deeply, whose connotations and character are beyond contestation in my book.
Recently, amidst my inner wallowing, I stumbled upon a shocking find on one of my oldest friend. No one within locus of my brotherhood knew, yet I came upon it via a third party. Of all the dumbest thing he could've done...I spoke to him last night and he was remorseful. The strain in his voice caught him offguard at my knowledge of the incident, to which I told him, in this matter, things have an uncanny way of dropping into place for me. With 2 numbers already punished, he should've known better.
In regards to the above matter, it disturbed me into sleepless rendezvous, trying to figure how to fix it. And now that I've spoken to him, my focus shifts to the uncertain future. Told my mom to sell the residence and it'll probably go through in a few months or so. While living arrangements had been sorted for the family, I reclused deciding where my place should be. Frankly, it's not exciting. And I have a sweet revenge on a person that I've been thinking about alot lately. Hey you...I will fulfill.
Labels: Crash
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