Thursday, July 24, 2003

I got no fancy stuff to write today bcos I am occupied. Oh and I got a freakin' letter from IRA and I am really tempted to burn it without reading it first! Weekend is gonna be a drag cos I've got weddings to attend to. Saturday evening a friend's wedding. But I think I'm gonna bounce cos my baby nephew might be bunkin in the weekend! Cute lil tyke, Amirul Al-Haq is my bundle of joy.....dumdidumdidum...

Monday, July 21, 2003

From time to time I will be re-publishing this work of mine, a gentle reminder to thyself...
There is a thought that lingers at the back of my mind in which I will forever wonder, possible.

Pulsing aggravation of what calm vision, discreet in its bleeding of thoughts in a path of neurosis while darting myopia in shades of brown, nestled lubrication in its crown, overflowed. Subconsciously clutching my center, overbearing this sense of loss in equilibrium. My balance off, jaunted by phantoms of conscience.

Yet, I deny nature of the satisfaction meant for those around me to leave me incarcerated. For I am the font of calmness and that is the expression of my physique, projected in empty glass of frosted windows of a supposed soul. Not to embrace this winter a means to an end. I am borne free and boundless shall I be, almost. With one single thought that lingers, I am bounded still, I am human. Lost am I not?


There are disadvantages of being friendly. The stakes goes up when you become friendlier. Then, when you are a friend, there are things expected of you. Never mind that you are not actually related, and that you actually have places in you that you reserve for other people and not just yourself! God forbid you should love these people because you simply do. And you would actually outdo yourself to help and even please these people. You are expected. You can't say no to these people because they will be disappointed, and some would love you less. You become a punching bag because you won't strike back at them because you actually VALUE their FRIENDSHIP. You won't want a stupid thing to come between that friendship. And now, you're no more a punching bag, you're a live firing exercise ground. Hey, shoot all they want because that is what you are for, right?

God forbid if I have bad intentions over my friends. So GOD, please forgive me for;
1. Not calling my 1000 over of friends everyday
2. Not giving them my undivided attention at ALL times because I might have problems of my own, but it doesn't matter...
3. Not being to join my friends hanging out uptown because I got no money even for the bus fare
4. Not being able to console them on their girlfriend/boyfriend problems, although I got no one for myself
5. Not being able to grant them all their wishes and whatever they might want
6. trying to have a life of my own because others would want to dictate how I should live.

So forgive me, and forgive my friends for they know not what they do. And if there is any shortcomings let it be mine for I still love them, I really do. And God, with your permission I'd just like to ask one thing of my friends; Gimme a break will ya?
Thank you.

Thursday, July 17, 2003


Recently, I tried to touch base with one part of me which I reserved deeply only to those who deserve. Foolish as I was, on a lighter spirit, I brought down my guard. Being a total idiot ever on this particular grounds, I extended hope. I extended hope only to be reinforced the lesson I thought I had truly learnt in the past. So fuck it.
Yes I am fragile when it comes to this. So perhaps I may cable out my last blog's theme to this one (of course with no affliation at all with all those people I mentioned in the last blog), saying THANK YOU! Thanks to all those who gave me the greatest gift I could actually do without. So THANK YOU Bitch! Or rather I should thank all the bitches that only I only knew. Truly, I am blogging this with good spirit. And truly thanks to them bitches for without them I wouldn't known now to always keep the door closed at all times.

"I walk under clouds of grey with sphere of storms in my head"
"I sit down in my ugly place and build walls out of fragments from my past of all the people that I needed & loved that walked away......"

Monday, July 14, 2003


I have been fortunate in life to be blessed with enormous wealth that are friends. I may not have a lot of money but I do sure have a lot of friends. And these are friends that I depend on. And a fraction of these friends are my bros.
It's been awhile since I blogged bcos I am terribly bz, even now. But, I promised myself I'd do this for those special people who made my project, ROCK ON 2003, possible. I know that sometimes my demeanour can be intimidating and my directives can be annoying but that's the reason I chose you people to halp me make the project happen. And I am eternally grateful for all your help.
And to those who were not involve directly in the project still plays an important part, and all your contributions are eternally appreciated. So may I salute these individuals; my frenz, my bros.

Yuslie, Norliza, Zulkiflee, Mustafa Kamal, Mohd Thasim, Shahrizam.
Ez jazz for the support & encouragement and confidence. Also Ez Jazz's Lil Ms Mango for the encouraging words, concern & the paper cutting (hehehe, fun kan???), Ms Ishaiza (thanx 4 de paper cutting, no thanx for all de whining!), Skuter Boboy for being a kid brother & chaffeur.
And to all those involved in ROCK ON 2003, THANK YOU!